he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize