So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I am mentally ready for anal.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
