Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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