well you can't waste a boner
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize