So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
