Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
