it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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