I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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