Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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