we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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