Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
