That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
