He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
