My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
