i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
no, he came in my armpit
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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