I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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