I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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