BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
