It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
