just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.