Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
my mouth tastes like poor choices
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.