Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
