Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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