This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
