I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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