He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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