he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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