is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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