Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
