i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
do herpes really smell.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
