talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
sick fucks of a feather flock together
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
