I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
