This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
