i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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