How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
