I just saw a hot homeless man
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
