It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
