the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
