my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
operation have a gay friend backfired
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We're too hungover to prance.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
