quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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