I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
