So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.