Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
