If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
