I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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