You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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