I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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