Tell her she can't have a vagina
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
