Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
