she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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