Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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