i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
