His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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