haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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