so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
