The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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