mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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