Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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