so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
