i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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